Opps.....

Do you know what is really awesome about my job? The fact that I am not face to face with the idiots on the phone or to the officers when they are testing my nerves. (The firefighters/medics rarely have reason to test my nerves.) This way you see, I can say all sorts of smart-ass things to/about them and they nevvvver know and no one is the wiser.....up until your transmit button sticks and you have what they call an "open mic". 

That open mic thing is soooo not my friend. I've had many of these occurrences since I started dispatching, one when I first started and was still in training that was pretty funny. I was talking to a detective on channel 2 and I listened to every word he said, wrote it down, gave him a 10-4 and then said "I have no idea what he is talking about". All kinds of on the air for everyone to hear. Luckily that was on channel 2 which is not listened to as much as channel 1. Still pretty funny tho. Now I've said allllot of smart-ass things to officers thru my computer monitor, most of the time simply in a joking manner, sometimes in a "i really wish he were standing right in front of me so I could smack him upside the head" manner. But it goes both ways, the officers do it to us too, it's a love/hate relationship. However, last week I said it right to him....all over channel one....completely accidentally.....

Now keep in mind there is a certain unit of officers, who do not take regular calls, they sort of run around on their own looking for people up to no good, doing their own thing. We'll call them Secret Squirrel unit since dispatch never has any idea what they are doing. Now these are mostly really good cops on this unit, they get stuff done...however, God love 'em, they can be extreeeeeemely annoying at times. They usually stay on a different channel doing whatever it is they are doing and then they pop up on one and create havoc when they are right in the middle of some craziness and we have no idea what's going on. It's just the nature of the beast I guess, not really their fault, but all sorts of a pain in the ass. So naturally, I was all kinds of excited last week to know they were on special assignment and had their very own channel with their very own dispatcher to bother so I would not have to worry about them.....wrong. AS SOON as I sat down at my console one of them keys up. Really?? So I answer the officer, "Go ahead" and then...release my transmit button.......guess what gets stuck and I don't realize it...that f&%*ing transmit button, that's what. So guess what I say all over the air for alllll the officers and sgts and goodness knows who all to hear? 

"Go ahead....WHY IS HE ON MY CHANNEL ISNT HE SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR PROBLEM TODAY???" 

yeaaaaaaaa big opps. I couldn't help but laugh...hysterically actually. It was pretty funny. Luckily the officer must have been capable of sharing in the hilarity of the situation because he just moved right along without saying a wordddd. HAHA! For the record, it was simply a joke because I am a smart-ass like that but yeaaa. Let's say I used my mouse to click the button for the rest of the night and NOT the button attached to my wireless that likes to stick........