BBQ Chicken

So last night was fun. The police platoons have rotated again so I'm back with the officers I have worked with the most and there are several favorites on that shift we are extra nice to. We had a bunch of food in dispatch last night that we all brought in so we shared with a select few. 2 of my personal favorites I'll lovingly call tweedle dee and tweedle dumb, are never separated very long, everyone jokes that if they get to far apart it stretches the embilical cord. I swear it's like they have radar on each other. Anywho, they came in to eat and visit for a hot minute last night and after a couple minutes we got a breaking and entering call in progress in their zone. Of course tweedle dee was right in the middle of pulling out a piece of chicken to eat. Now don't worry, this skilled veteran officer still got his chicken and ran down the hall to his car chowing down, and both tweedles headed out of our lot lights and sirens to make it to the call. I found out later to my glee and entertainment that once they arrived on scene our boys went in foot pursuit of the suspect, tweedle dee bailed out of the car still chewing. Of course they caught their guy and had him in custody in no time, these officers know how to multi-task ; ).

Gotham has been busy the past few nights, all sorts of craziness going on. We had a young adult commit a violent crime on a family member and no sooner had the officers arrived on scene and started looking for the suspect than I took a call from a court employee that had the suspect and his mom in her office where he had come to turn himself in and had the weapon in the car. It was surprising to say the least. Good tho because the last time we had an incident like that happen on my shift I lost all my officers but 3 to the investigation out looking for the suspect and trying to control the crowd so I was stuck running a ton of other calls city-wide with 3 officers running the city...less than fun.

"Get somebody out here I'm being A HOE'D!" [no one I've encountered yet knows what that means but apparently it's happening in Gotham]

Here is a word to the stupid: if you call the police, keep in mind calls are sorted by priority, aka if you are not in immediate danger, the cops are going to the calls where someone is first and you might have to wait a few minutes or more sometimes a few hours. There are only so many officers to go around and if what you're calling about can wait, sometimes it will have to, what will not help is if when the police don't come fast enough for you, calling back and lying and reporting shots fired or some other nonsense that isn't happening...that my friends is illegal.

First Two Days of a Long Week Rotation.....

I really love having to explain common sense to people. Sometimes I really wonder what percentage of the population still has any. For instance, "No ma'mm, the officers cannot force your 40yoa cousin to leave her house and come live with you just because you think she'd be better off with you." I mean there's probably a reason she doesn't want to come with you, I'm thinking you're probably pretty annoying since you openly admit she's not a threat to herself and perfectly capable of taking care of herself, you just want her to come live with you because her mom died and now she's alone....maybe she wants some time alone to GRIEVE! Either way it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know the police can't make a grown woman go somewhere she doesn't want to for no real reason at all. 

Also, if there are bunnies in your yard and you have a dog, 2 perfectly normal things are going to happen: the dog is going to chase the bunnies: that's called instinct. 2, if you try to catch the bunnies they are going to try and bite you. duh. DO NOT CALL 911.

And another thing while I am ranting, if you are going to be rude and trashy to the police, and then you are going to try and run from them/fight with them, then it should not come as a shock to you when you get pepper sprayed/your ass beat. This is not a valid reason to start screaming police brutality. Bet you aren't screaming about how much you hate the police when you get into one of the million situations you want them to come fix now are you? Oh no, then you want them there yesterday and you want someone arrested NOW. right. 

Let me leave you with this:

"Gotham City 911"

"Someone broke into my house and turned my heat up"

sure they did sir. we'll have the police there faster than you can say "I'm a looney!"

Opps.....

Do you know what is really awesome about my job? The fact that I am not face to face with the idiots on the phone or to the officers when they are testing my nerves. (The firefighters/medics rarely have reason to test my nerves.) This way you see, I can say all sorts of smart-ass things to/about them and they nevvvver know and no one is the wiser.....up until your transmit button sticks and you have what they call an "open mic". 

That open mic thing is soooo not my friend. I've had many of these occurrences since I started dispatching, one when I first started and was still in training that was pretty funny. I was talking to a detective on channel 2 and I listened to every word he said, wrote it down, gave him a 10-4 and then said "I have no idea what he is talking about". All kinds of on the air for everyone to hear. Luckily that was on channel 2 which is not listened to as much as channel 1. Still pretty funny tho. Now I've said allllot of smart-ass things to officers thru my computer monitor, most of the time simply in a joking manner, sometimes in a "i really wish he were standing right in front of me so I could smack him upside the head" manner. But it goes both ways, the officers do it to us too, it's a love/hate relationship. However, last week I said it right to him....all over channel one....completely accidentally.....

Now keep in mind there is a certain unit of officers, who do not take regular calls, they sort of run around on their own looking for people up to no good, doing their own thing. We'll call them Secret Squirrel unit since dispatch never has any idea what they are doing. Now these are mostly really good cops on this unit, they get stuff done...however, God love 'em, they can be extreeeeeemely annoying at times. They usually stay on a different channel doing whatever it is they are doing and then they pop up on one and create havoc when they are right in the middle of some craziness and we have no idea what's going on. It's just the nature of the beast I guess, not really their fault, but all sorts of a pain in the ass. So naturally, I was all kinds of excited last week to know they were on special assignment and had their very own channel with their very own dispatcher to bother so I would not have to worry about them.....wrong. AS SOON as I sat down at my console one of them keys up. Really?? So I answer the officer, "Go ahead" and then...release my transmit button.......guess what gets stuck and I don't realize it...that f&%*ing transmit button, that's what. So guess what I say all over the air for alllll the officers and sgts and goodness knows who all to hear? 

"Go ahead....WHY IS HE ON MY CHANNEL ISNT HE SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR PROBLEM TODAY???" 

yeaaaaaaaa big opps. I couldn't help but laugh...hysterically actually. It was pretty funny. Luckily the officer must have been capable of sharing in the hilarity of the situation because he just moved right along without saying a wordddd. HAHA! For the record, it was simply a joke because I am a smart-ass like that but yeaaa. Let's say I used my mouse to click the button for the rest of the night and NOT the button attached to my wireless that likes to stick........